studio ghibli relationships

02/??/25

Many people who I used to spend time with—watching movies, late night calls, or even just chilling for the heck of it are now in relationships.

I mean I can’t help but envy it just a little. They’re wholesome. They get to experience a kind of connection that, for me, still feels just out of reach—something I’ve only ever imagined in quieter moments of hope.

It scares me a little bit to think about this because romantic relationships are NOT my forte. Mostly due to a handful of embarrassing interactions and limited experience to say the least, but sometimes I think about how different my life would be if I met her. And I don’t think I have a clear picture on what that would look like.

I’d imagine she’d inspire me in ways I can’t fully grasp yet—perhaps ways which confuse me now, but would later learn to appreciate.

But if I were to guess, I don’t think I’d be doing anything much differently. My hobbies would stay the same, I’d probably have the same friends, eat the same food, wake up at the same time. And honestly, I like the way things are. Life feels pretty good right now. I feel pretty content.

So if I’m content, why even take the time to write this? Why even bother entertaining the idea of companionship at all? Honestly, I’m not sure and I could probably give ten-thousand excuses about feeling both content and alone. I could also chalk it up to “biology and evolution” but I’d rather say vibes, and it's just fun to think about. Like, at least on the surface, it's really not that deep.

But maybe at some point it does become that deep, and I’m a little scared at that thought. Because maybe one day I’ll wake up in ten years from now and think: “I should have gone out more,” or maybe, “I should have talked to her,” and I really don’t want to feel that regret.

A conversation with C inspired me to pour these thoughts here. Every now and then he reminds me of his story: spending most of his college years building a startup, and still feeling robbed of years where he could have been going out more often, exploring new hobbies, and taking better care of his health. Big emphasis on health!

And I suppose it's really easy to make these claims when you’ve amounted to some canonical milestone i.e. getting acquired or some other self-imposed criteria, but I think I’m trying to convince myself that maybe, just maybe, I can find some sort of balance. That I don’t need to completely surrender myself to “the grind” and rather find a healthier relationship between social life and work, so I don’t have any more excuses on why my life is … well, the way it is.

And sometimes I tell myself this story that I’m working on myself, and I don’t need to “search” for love, and I think this is half-correct! But I think there’s a really thin veil of cowardice behind that story—one which masquerades itself as grit and confidence. So newsflash! The macho attitude is just an act. Rejection is scary sometimes and it's always easier to flake and default to saying “No time for relationships, I’m on my sigma grindset, haha!!”

It’s convenient. And maybe even comforting. But deep down I know what it really is.

But I also really believe in the idea that you’ll always make time for the right person. I believe the right person will make you feel safe. I’d imagine it to feel warm and fuzzy, and maybe even like a big hug. Like some sort of safe haven where you can regress back to your childlike innocence.

I think the best comparison I could draw upon is Studio Ghibli relationships. Miyazaki does an excellent job at illustrating its purity: the dynamic between two strangers brought together by circumstance, growing into friends through the rite of problem solving and fighting the big bad monster. But by the end of the journey, they’ve formed a bond so deep, it’s hard to imagine life without the other person. A bond untainted by lust. Just quiet, profound companionship.

And I think it's so easy to grow pessimistic about romantic relationships. Especially with gender wars and negative rhetorics spawning in every corner of social media; it becomes harder to distinguish what's actually real. It’s a game of attention, and it works because they provide some false sense of security, in that they tell you allegedly, just how things are.

So I try my best not to ground my beliefs from what I see over online. I’d rather let them develop through personal experience. I want something slow, something pure, and a shared wonder for the world and its mysteries waiting to be discovered. I don’t know when I’ll find a special somebody to share this with, but there’s no rush to find out :)